Author: Dr. William Rassman

Guest Article addressing addiction

Seniors in Addiction Recovery: Making Amends and Reclaiming Your Life this Holiday Season

Photo Credit: Jessica Monte, Stock Snap

With the holidays approaching, we enter a time of the year when emotions can run high. The holiday season is meant to be festive and fun, but it is not always joyous. Sometimes parents do something that ruins the relationship with their children, and the holiday season is a painful reminder of the relationship that they lost. If you are one of these individuals, follow some tips to turn this year into the year that you make amends and reclaim your life and your relationship.

“Children, by their nature, want to love their parents. That longing never leaves,” says Huffington Post. There are many reasons why parent-child relationships become estranged, but reunion is always at least a possibility. However, it is typically not going to just happen. If you have made a mistake, you will need to make a solid effort to try to rebuild those bonds. For example, if you’re a senior who has struggled with addiction in the past, it’s not too late to make amends, even if your past substance abuse created a rift.

Making amends is a process, and you start by apologizing. Own up to your mistakes and shortcomings. Say that you are sorry and ask what you can do, if anything, to set right the wrong you did. Once you have apologized, you have to hold out hope that your child will forgive you and accept your apology. The timetable for that acceptance and forgiveness is not up to you, but is solely up to your child.

Let go of your expectations. Even if you apologize, there is no guarantee that you will be forgiven, and even if you are forgiven, your child may still not want you in his or her life. Remember that you are not apologizing so that the relationship will improve; you are apologizing because you are genuinely sorry and wish to portray that remorse. However, you should also remember that your sobriety and happiness do not depend on anyone else but yourself, so do not let your disappointment result in a relapse.

Try to understand how your child wants to receive love. People express and receive love in different ways, and if you want to work on mending the relationship, you have to “speak your child’s love language.” If your child equates quality time to love, then showering him or her with gifts will not show your love and may make your child feel as though you are not listening to or thinking of his or her wants and needs.

If your child is struggling to forgive you or welcome you back into his or her life, acknowledge that your child’s perspective is valid. You may wonder whether or not your child can see that you are really trying. While your child may recognize your efforts, that does not make his or her pain disappear. Accept this as a fact, and let your child speak openly about the ways in which he or she was hurt or is hurting.

If you want the relationship to prosper, then you must put in the effort to mend the fences. Even if your child is open to your apology and building a relationship with you, the work is still yours to do. If the relationship is truly important to you, keep working on yourself and reaching out in healthy ways. If you are doing the work, there is always a chance, and eventually, your child may respond positively if you’re consistent. While making amends isn’t easy, reclaiming your life, sobriety, and relationship will be well worth the effort.

I’m a 23 year old male experiencing male pattern hairloss around the crown. I’ve noticed it for 8 months and it’s been getting substantially worse recently- more hair loss in the shower, more strands on my pillow every morning, hair follicles on my hand as I run it through my hair. I’ve also been experiencing Dry Scalp recently which I think is related to the balding. I’m meeting my Primary Care Physican soon, I plan to ask him for a 5mg Proscar prescription and get a pill splitter with that. I do not want to use Rogaine, as I’m a medical student and expected to look professional all the time. I’m afraid it might mess with the oils on my skin. As for the shampoo, I’m thinking of ordering shampoo either nizoral or DR regenpure. Which one do you recommend using? Are there any additional tips you can provide? Could the hairloss be associated with medical school stress to any degress? Thank you for your time!

I believe that there is a 99% chance you have genetic hair loss in process and the best treatment is finasteride 1mg/day or as you said split a Proscar into 1/4 or 1/5th. You don’t have to be 100% accurate as long as you end up totallying 5mgs every 5 days. If you can find someone with a HAIRCHECK instrument (https://baldingblog.com/2017/01/10/value-haircheck-bulk-measurements-two-patients-seen-today/), get your hair bulk measured and then you can get a metric on the value of the drug over time. I don’t believe that the shampoo makes any difference, but for a douoble wammy, if you are having crown loss as well, I would consider adding minoxidil once daily to the crown.

The frequency of Erectile Dysfunction in men in their 20s is about 20%. Also, it is not unusual nor abnormal not to have a good sex drive. If you are worried about it, see a doctor and get your testosterone level checked to see if it is hormonal. The impact of finasteride is independent upon your original sex drive and erectile function if you decide to take it. It all depends upon the importance of your sex drive to you, independent of your hair loss and the treatment of it.

It is very difficult to tell from this photo if you are receding or developing a maturing hairline. The best way to determine this is to lift your eyebrows so that your forehead wrinkles and the hairline should be no higher than one finger breath above the highest wrinkle. If this is the case, maybe your hairline is maturing.

If you have thinning and possibly PCOS, treatments like Scalp Micropigmentation works very well to make your hair look fuller: https://scalpmicropigmentation.com/gallery/smp-for-women/

I am 24 years old and I’ve been experiencing some hair loss for the last three or four years. I’ve noticed it when I shower I’ll end with about 30-40 hairs on my hands, and there will be about 10-20 others on the pillow when I wake up. I’m kinda worried about this since it didn’t happen before and I am not through a period major stress, I didn’t make any changes in my diet either. I will see a dermatologist as soon as possible but I don’t know if I should make a big deal about it or not, since I can run my hand through my dry hair or pull it and there won’t be any hairs on it afterwards.

Some extra info: my dad isn’t bald but has a receding hairline and started experiencing hair loss when he was about 40 or so. It is summer where I live, I add this because I understand hair loss can vary depending on the season.

You should see a good doctor and find out exactly how much hair you are losing with the HAIRCHECK test ( https://baldingblog.com/haircheck-test-how-it-is-done-video/ ). The point is to find out if you are really losing hair, how much you are losing and lost and what to do to stop it. This test establishes a metric on the loss so that in a year after you may have started treating it, you will know if you are gaining of losing ground.

This is his answer to me: “Thanks for your reply. You bring up a very good point that if I continue to bald behind the transplant it will look strange, however, if that does occur, I do plan on chasing it with further HT’s in the future. I positioned myself in a career where I can financially do this and am very aware that this is not a “quick fix”. I see this initial transplant as the first step in a long process. Please continue to voice your thoughts and concerns.”

If you go forward with this plan, be sure to put together a good Master Plan for your future, and include an assessment of your depleting donor supply, which will occur as you do more and more hair transplants. You must make sure that you never get into a situation where you will run out of hair.

My mother and aunt have a similar problem. What should I do?

Clearly you are very thin and have a see through appearance. If this is in the female side of your family, it is most likely genetic. First, you want to make sure that it is not caused by some medical condition.

Female hair loss is a difficult analysis and requires many tests, not just thyroid testing. I simply can not write a textbook on the subject on this site, but here’s a list of past posts that may help you understand what you’ve got going on:

1. Female Genetic Hair Loss Is Different From Male Genetic Hair Loss
2. Birth Control Pills and Hair Loss
3. Woman With Thinning Hair After Family Tragedy
4. Diseases Causing Women’s Hair Loss
5. Female Hair Loss

The first step in evaluating hair loss in women, after a detailed history and physical exam, is to rule out any underlying medical causes of hair loss which can be treated. If clinically appropriate, the following disease processes should be considered: anemia, thyroid disease, connective tissue disease, gynecological conditions and emotional stress. Furthermore, over 50% of women going through change of life hormone fluctuations (menopause) experience significant hair loss. It is also important to review the use of medications that may cause hair loss, such as (but not limited to) oral contraceptives, beta-blockers, Vitamin A, thyroid drugs, coumadin, and prednisone. The following laboratory tests have been recommended to rule out the aforementioned medical conditions:

Some common blood tests for female hair loss:

• Sex Hormone tests
• SHBG (Sex Hormone Binding Globulin) used to test status of male hormones
• Estradiol is a sex hormone
• FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) *not hair follicle but follicle in the ovary*
• LH (Luteinizing Hormone) is a sex hormone
• Free Testosterone
• Total Testosterone
• ANA (Anti Nuclear Antibody) used to test for Lupus or other autoimmune diseases
• TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) used to test for hyper or hypo-thyroid disease
• Test Iron status
• TIBC (Total Iron Binding Capacity)
• Ferritin
• Iron

Assuming that you do not have a medical cause and it is genetic female hair loss as seen in your aunt and mother, then one of the better cosmetic treatments for this is Scalp Micropigmentation: https://scalpmicropigmentation.com/smp-for-women/

I have performed a HAIRCHECK test on this now 24 year old male with a receding hairline last year and then again today. His hair has shown stability and very little loss as the drug finasteride seems to be helping him hold onto his hair. I told him to return in a year for another HAIRCHECK test and to see if his corner frontal recession bothers him. A hair transplant is a viable option.